Tag Archives forsuicide

SUICIDE 2.0: Put a gun to your head and forgive yourself

“I’ll give it to you straight without any fluff. You have the largest, nastiest tumor I’ve seen in my 3 decades as a doctor. You need emergency surgery ASAP. At best, you will have to have a colostomy bag for the rest of your life. At worst, you are going to die.”

When the doctor finished those sentences I was silent. I didn’t even believe what he was saying. It was like watching a movie of someone else’s life.

“This isn’t happening to me. I’m just having a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon feeling refreshed.” The thoughts rang through my head as I walked to the parking lot.

Immediately followed by,

“How the [email protected]#$% am I going to break this to my wife?”

I opened the car door of my brand new Lamborghini. I took a look inside, sat down, and cried.

Sobbing in a $300,000 car immediately after being told the worst news you can hear is a mind-blowing experience. I felt like a complete fraud sitting in that car. Even though it was the fourth Lamborghini I’d owned in the previous 20 years, it still felt like a bad joke.

Material things don’t lose just 100% of their value when you face your own mortality. They lose a lot more than that. They become an anchor as well.

On the way home, contemplating my own death, and how my wife was going to take it, was the longest 20 minutes of my life. When I got home I couldn’t look her in the eye. I couldn’t even talk. I sobbed uncontrollably.

I felt like I had wasted my life on bullshit.

Just a couple days later I was on my back in the operating room. The anesthesiologist was injecting the first wave of their medical voodoo into my body.

As I was fading consciousness, I stared at the brightest white I’ve ever seen emanating from the operating room lights. It’s a very unique white, the kind of white that only comes from operating room lights. It was a sickening experience that burned into my brain.

I’ll never forget those lights. They were like bright, white slices of death and despair. Those lights were my alarm clock. It was time to wake up and truly live.

During my last moments of consciousness, I repeated to myself over and over, “My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad. My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad. My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad.”

I swore I’d never allow myself to lose control over my health again.

Before the tumor I was living the life of a “One Dimensional Douchebag,” as Garrett J. White so eloquently puts it. I figured out long ago how to make as much money as I wanted in days or weeks. Making money is easy when you have a solid system and mindset.

I had that figured out and then some. At the time I had just launched my new automated SEO tool called “The Automati.” That launch did seven figures in sales in the first 3 hours. We did just over $3 million in sales in the first 24 hours. It was a six-figures-a-month business right out of the gate, from ONE EMAIL.

I know how to make money. I’ve generated over nine figures in sales in my life and went from prison in 2001 to an eight-figure empire in less than 5 years. I’ve created over a dozen seven-figure businesses in 4 different industries. The system is always the same. Making money is easy when you have a solid system and mindset. Sounds great right?

It is great, unless it’s your ONE dimension. I was great at making money but shit at everything else. I had a great marriage, several successful businesses, a brand new beach house in San Diego, and my own race car & motorcycle fabrication shop.

Yet I was almost 100 pounds overweight. I hit the bars or bottles of wine almost daily and spent at least 2-3 days a week recovering from hangovers. I was a full-blown, “functional” alcoholic. To make it worse, my nasty drug habit was keeping me sedated and hidden from the world. I was miserable and masked it with alcohol, drugs, and material wealth.

Simply put, I “had it all” but hated myself.

Fast forward two years and I’ve lost over 90 pounds and I’m healthier and more fit than I was in high school. I’ve kept the weight off for over a year and my marriage is more solid than ever. (note: I just turned 47)

I meditate/pray at least twice a day, every single day and I’m in tune with my spiritual side like never before. I’m alchohol-free for over 6 months now and I have ZERO desire to take a drink.

I learned to take the same system I use to make money and point it inward. Through using the same tools I’ve used for decades to make money, I learned to love myself.

The headline of this post is of course a metaphor. Please do not go put a real gun to your real head. Do it metaphorically, not literally.

Now that I have your attention, I’m talking about guns to heads.


What the @#&^%$ are you going to next?

What are you going to do next to get out of your own way?

What are you going to do next to take your business to the next level?

What are you going to do next when shit hits the fan and you have no reserves and no backup plan?

What are you going to do next to finally become a real millionaire?

What are you going to do next when those millions evaporate right in front of your eyes while your friends, family, and sanity disappear along with it?

What are you going to do next when you have no f-ing clue what to do next and everyone is looking to you for answers?

What are you going to do next when your health fails you?

I know how you will answer all those questions. I know because I was you.

When the gun is to your head you will freeze just like you always do. You know you will. Oh you’ll play it off as “bad luck”. You’ll come up with some other bullshit story you always invent to dodge the truth.

The story morphs depending on the situation but you are a pro at it. You’ve gotten to be the best in the world at playing smaller than you are capable of…

and justifying it

to your spouse

to your kids

to your peers

and most effectively

to yourself

Your story becomes your Kryptonite. You know deep inside that you are Superman. But when the time comes to put on the damn cape, you stop.

What are you going to do next?

How is this time any different than your previous bullshit?

Even if you do push through, why are you so unhealthy? Are you great at business but treat your body like hell?

Are you amazingly fit yet broke as a joke?

Are you physically fit and great at business yet your marriage or home life is a disaster?

Here’s what I know about you right now.

You really don’t know what to do next.

You know what to do next but you freeze and/or self-sabotage when it’s emotionally big.

Whether it’s Fitness, or Finance, or Family or anything else, the ANSWER is always the same…


You are all you need. You have every resource available. Somewhere inside you know it to be true. You have a SUPER HERO inside trying to go do Super Hero shit. Deep inside you know you were meant to be great.

So even though the solution is inside you…

The problem…


You love to sit around and dream about really putting on the cape and flying like a real super hero. You see other people doing super hero shit and you know you could do better. You fantasize about all the awesome Super Hero shit you will do once you FINALLY put on the cape and fly.

But when it comes time to walk out the door with the cape on…

…you freeze, delay, evade, hide, sedate, and fend off success like a super hero ninja on crack. You keep Superman pushed down. And it’s deep.

“No way in hell am I going to take a chance to be great. What if I fail? What will everyone think?”

Believe me, I know. It’s way easier to stay hidden behind all kinds of walls of sedation. I’ve tested them all to their limits and beyond.

I even gained over a hundred pounds as a “shield” against the world. I had to hide my inner Superman behind an extra hundred pound suit of armor. Oh the masks we wear to hide who we are from the world.

Whatever your sedation (hiding) technique, I know you have it down pat. You know the triggers and you know how you will self-sabotage. You know how to play it off to the world too. You got this “staying the same” thing down pat. You might even be in the running for World Champion at it.

And you hate yourself for it.

The push-pull messaging society constantly throws at us doesn’t help either. To top it off, our education system has dumbed us down so much we’ve forgotten how to solve problems. We’ve been trained to follow rules and we became robots for the military/industrial complex.

We live in the Matrix. We have become nothing but batteries for the machine. You know there’s something wrong with the system. You know you were meant for more. You are the solution. You just get in your own way.

It’s time to put the gun down and forgive yourself.

You are worthy.

You are great.

You have a unique value to deliver to the world.

And you know it.

So fucking act like it.

You have a super power. You have something that lights you on fire. You have something you love to do. You have something you lose yourself in. You have something that could set you free if you let it.

And it’s something that will create life-changing income if you just knew what to do next…

Over the last 30 years I’ve created seven-figure businesses in 4 different industries. I’ve mastered how to create and scale businesses on the Internet extremely fast. I always know what to do next.

The system is always the same. I’m going to reveal it to you.

Whether you are looking to:

  • Create a new business…
  • Scale an existing business to bigger numbers…
  • Lose excess body fat…
  • Build more muscle
  • Maintain full, dynamic health…
  • Build solid relationships with family, your significant other, or yourself…
  • Tap into your spiritual side…
  • Dramatically reduce stress and overwhelm…
  • Connect with a community of like-minded people…
  • Grab life by the balls and REALLY LIVE…

…the system is always the same. I’ve perfected it over the last 30 years of trial and error, and I mean LOTS of error. I can save you YEARS of heartache and pain if you will heed my words.

The system is always the same. And it’s super simple.

To create any sort of success, you simply have to learn to manage just three things:

1. Your thoughts
2. Your emotions
3. Your circle of influence

Once you have a solid system to manage those 3 things, your life will change dramatically. Your Superman will come out of creative freeze and show himself to the world. You will always know what to do next, no matter what life situation you find yourself in.

You become solution-minded by default. You’ll learn to create what looks like magic to the rest of the world. You’ll get more accomplished in 90 days than most people do in a year.

When I got out of prison in 2004 I had no money, I owed $2 million in restitution, I had only one friend, a crappy $10/hr job, no car, and nowhere to live. No one wanted anything to do with me.

Less than 5 years later I had built an 8-figure, almost-fully-automated empire, all on the Internet. I had zero staff and just 2 virtual assistants in the Philipines that worked for $20 a day. The business pretty much ran itself.

The business part is the easy part. Managing YOU is the hard part. The secret is simple…

You have to forgive yourself, like there’s a gun to your head.

After spending 10 years and over a quarter million dollars on:
– Therapists
– Meditation retreats
– Week-long “warrior bootcamps”
– Spirit quests involving psychedelic drugs
– Seminars
– Coaching programs
– Mastermind groups
– Live events
– And HUNDREDS of self-help books

…I’ve created a system that works, repeatedly, at will.

I learned how to “kill myself” to get the life I wanted. I learned to kill the old me and the old negative patterns that kept me playing as a One Dimensional Douchebag.

Now it’s a complete system. I’ve ran over 100 people through this system so far and it works.

Here are just some of the amazing results:

– Henry M., an Internet newbie, created a new business and generated $8000 his first weekend. He generated over $30,000 his first month. He’s now about to close a seven figure licensing deal for his ideas.

– $1.8 million dollar day! Art R., changed his existing business systems based on what he learned from me and had the largest sales day he’d ever seen, by far.

– James and his wife Sonia created a solid authority online with over 400,000 engaged followers in just a couple months. They just announced they got $2 million in funding to expand that business!

There are now over 70 amazing testimonials from average people achieving very non-average results after learning my system. People are losing weight, fixing their marriages, expanding their businesses, having way more fun, and getting healthy in all ways.

On Tuesday, September 12, 2017 I’m holding a live webinar to teach you the basics of the system.

Go here to register >>>

Live attendees will get my personal mind maps to:
– Internet marketing success (SEO, paid traffic, blogging, social media, etc)
– Weight loss (How I lost 80 pounds in 100 days while cheating on my diet every day and doing ZERO workouts.)
– Mindset mastery (How to create what looks like magic to the rest of the world)

You’ll learn how to get whatever you want in life even if you are fresh out of prison and have no resources or help.

You’ll learn how to always know what to do next.

You’ll learn how to do SUICIDE 2.0.

Put a gun to your head, forgive yourself, then play your own game.

Go here to register for this groundbreaking webinar >>>

See you there,
Matt Trainer

P.S. Suicide 2.0 is the name of my new book. In it I’m telling my full story. It’s a wild one for sure! I’ll talk more about it on the webinar.

Click here to register for the training