Your ignorance is my opportunity.

Setting:
Lazy summer afternoon. 1978.
510 North McGregor Street, Carthage, Missouri
Backyard of my childhood home.

It was the first time I had seen red pubic hair.

“Go ahead. Touch it,” he said with a creepy voice.

“You should kiss it. It’s fun. I’ll kiss yours too,” he continued.

The 30ish-year-old-pedo-creep grabbed my 8-year-old hand, and then…

—-> OK, hold up.

I gotta stop there and explain a couple things before I go any further. I won’t lie. I’m scared as ‘the f-word’ to write this. It’s the hardest thing to face; Loss of innocence at a young age.

Way too young.

I have to give a big warning before I get into this wild story.

What you are about to read is very disturbing. It’s a hard subject matter to discuss even in the best of circumstances. It’s a story of something I’ve been ashamed of my entire life.

Only my brother knows this story. And even he doesn’t know the full details I’m about to share. So why share it with the public? That will only make sense later.

For now, I really don’t recommend ANYONE to read this. It’s just too disturbing and ego-driven. But I have to share this. I have to step into my shadow, and step through it.

After 40 years of reflecting on that summer as an innocent 8-year-old kid, I’ve realized it’s what has held me back in so many ways. I even created another identity to cope with it. Almost like a split personality if you will.

But I didn’t realize that fact until a few months ago. The internal ‘slap in the face’ drove me to SEVERE suicidal thoughts, and worse.

I woke up.

It took some insane shit to happen to finally jolt me awake. I escaped the Matrix but I paid a heavy price in the last few years.

– It took almost dying from colon cancer.
– It took losing over 100 pounds of body fat and getting my old ass in shape again.
– It took finally getting sober after 20 years as a functioning alcoholic and party-drug addict.
– It took almost losing everything after a 5-year run of massive, serial business failures.
– It took becoming best friends with a 5-pound Chihuahua after hating animals my entire life.
– It took almost losing my wife to some crazy health shit we still can’t figure out.
– It took pissing off and then walking away from almost everyone in my life.
– It took looking hard at who I really am.
– It took facing my ego and killing that evil cock sucker.

I call it Suicide 2.0.

I had to kill the fake identity I had built over several decades.

I had to unmask me.

To do that, I had to walk back through 40+ years of trauma, bad decisions, and failures.

I had to face me, warts and all.

My lies.
My betrayals.
My bad decisions.
My over-promising.
My under-delivering.
My failures as a human.

All of them. And there are a lot. And big ones.

I’ve blazed a trail of bad for 48 years. It’s time to reverse the flow. The rest of my life is going to be spent in service.

Nothing spells it out better (at least for me), than the lyrics to the Tool song “46 and 2.”

These pre-teen kids do a great cover of the song.

I’ve been crawling on my belly.
Clearing out what could’ve been.
I’ve been wallowing in my own confused and insecure delusions.
For a piece to cross me over,
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I’ve been hiding in,
My shadow.
My shadow.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured in
My shadow.
My shadow.

Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I’ve been clinging to.
Forty-six & 2 ahead of me.

The song is based on two ideas:
1) Your shadow (from the works of Carl Jung), aka – Your ego or “dark side”
2) Morpho-genetic grids (as explained by Drunvalo Melchizedek).

Jung explained ‘shadow’ as the part of one’s being that one hates and fears. Melchizedek believed that the human body will eventually reach a state when there’ll be 48 chromosomes (46 autosomes and 2 sex chromosomes) instead of usual 46 (44 and 2 consequently).

It’s about change. Embrace it or die.

But to TRULY embrace it, YOU must die.

And be reborn as a full being made of equal parts shadow and light.

Yin well-blended with Yang.

The words of that song hit me very hard today. So hard I went into full on panic attack. I thought I was dying. As the heart palpitations subsided, I knew I needed to tell my story.

The real story, not the bullshit social media version.

The story of:
– How I became a monster.
– How I made the entire world my enemy.
– How my motto came to be, “Your ignorance is my opportunity.”

Queue dramatic music.

<Quick Sidebar Before The Madness Begins>
So what’s in it for you, as the reader? I mean really, who gives a shit what happened to a random, white-trash kid from a crappy small town? Nobody really. So why does it matter to YOU?

Your greed.

If you study my stories, and radically APPLY the lessons from them, you’ll make a lot of money.

A metric shit ton to be exact.

Then we can REALLY talk. Because only then will you find out money is not the answer that you have been seeking. But money is a powerful tool you can use at will to achieve true freedom.

Money comes from the luck you encounter doing hard work. Anyone can do it and make as much as they want. The only limitation is your perspective and your thoughts about that perspective.

I can teach you to be lucky, every day, and monetize it. And turn that “luck” into real wealth.

How am I so confident?

“Didn’t you just say you lost everything, Matt?”

Yes I have. Many times.

In his seminal work, The Richest Man In Babylon, George S. Clason describes through story and metaphor how the the Babylonians discovered many of the basic principles behind wealth. Simple things such as saving a small part of your income each month, investing it wisely, learning how to lend money instead of borrowing it, and how to protect your wealth.

The 3 Babylonian lessons you can apply right now to start building wealth:
1. Live below your means.
2. Learn how to be lucky.
3. Never take on debt.

I’ve mastered number 2. It’s a skill I’ve perfected over a lifetime of practice.

The other two, not so much. It’s taken 48 years to finally learn those, and boy are there lessons to share!

I went several million in debt over the last decade, more than once. Then made it back only to do it all over again, and again, and again, and again. Lather, rinse, repeat. All the while burning bridges, business partners, and friendships. It’s been a roller coaster from hell; Only fun at the top for a few moments.

I’m a risk taker. Always fearless, I always went all in.

All fucking in.

Always.

I never left anything on the table. I never kept anything in reserves. The extreme self-loathing kind of all in; Reckless and dangerous to anyone around me, and mostly to myself.

In the 1990’s I spent a few years as a professional card player, and not a calm one. I made millions playing blackjack only to piss it all away on the dumbest shit you can imagine. So I was shockingly always on the ragged edge of bankrupt while millions flowed through my businesses and bank accounts.

So what’s the next logical step?

Start a hedge fund of course! Duh!

So I did.

Millions made, very fast, before I was 30, then lost even faster when the Dotcom bust started. The mistakes I made in that spectacular failure, sent me to Federal prison for 3 years (I have a shit load of crazy prison stories/lessons to write about.) and cost 40 families all they had invested in me and my hedge fund. For many, it was their entire family’s life savings.

Some of them were MY family. And all of my friends invested, and even their parent’s invested. So I lost not only the money. I lost people that were like my family, all my friends but one, and my entire support system.

Wear that one for 18 years. Heavy load.

Worse, my brother got caught in the wake and he was charged too. He spent a year in Leavenworth Federal Prison, one of the worst in the whole prison system. He was and IS completely innocent of any wrongdoing. His fate was having the same last name as me and working for the hedge fund for a few months, the wrong months.

After his incarceration, his wife left him and he lost everything. Now he’s marked as a felon his entire life, because of me. He’s never been quite the same since. His innocence was stolen, by me and my actions.

(Here’s some good news. I eventually paid back all the 40 families that lost everything in my hedge fund failure so they were made whole. My brother went on to graduate at the top of his class at the most prestigious chiropractic school in the country. He’s now a Doctor of Chiropractic and owner of his own successful chiropractic office. He graciously and fervently forgave me a long time ago and we have a great relationship now.)

Since I got out of prison in 2003, I’ve built and then burned down dozens of very successful businesses. I’ve made and lost tens of millions of dollars and I can repeat it at will, in any industry I focus on. I just have the knack to make money fast when I want to. Problem was, I was even more skilled at getting rid of it faster than it came in.

1. Live below your means.
2. Learn how to be lucky.
3. Never take on debt.

Until now, the only thing I was really good at was being lucky, or creating my own luck actually. I’ve always lived WELL BEYOND my means and took on certifiably-insane levels of debt. It doesn’t work. Trust me. I tested every iteration you can imagine (and many you can’t) to prove it without a doubt, failing 1 and 3 above wrecks even the most lucky people.

Just ask lottery winners. Studies have shown that over 90% of lottery winners are deep in debt and miserable after 5 years. The vast majority say winning the big jackpot was the worst thing that ever happened to them.

They got lucky, yet didn’t have the skills of living simply and not taking on debt.

Just today on Bloomberg an announcement came that the Department of Justice has opened a CRIMINAL investigation into Elon Musk and Tesla.

What’s the root of the problem? Tesla took on too much debt too fast.

It’s from hubris from being lucky for so long. So it’s not just lottery winners. Anyone and everyone at every level has to learn and master the three skills in order to experience true freedom.

Freedom comes when you don’t have to answer to anyone. But freedom without POWER leads to ego-driven, tyrannical behavior. That was me. And I stayed in that death loop until I was finally woken up by chaos and learned the lessons. I had no real power.

Power comes from freedom perfectly merged with responsibility.

And not the responsibility to anything other than you.

It’s the responsibility to do what’s required to learn your own authority.

It’s the responsibility to become what you were born to be.

It’s the responsibility to finally let the REAL you out.

It’s the responsibility to really serve others in your own unique way.

It’s MY responsibility to now give what I’ve learned.

Freedom requires responsibility.

I had to lose it all to learn that.

But I’m only 48 and have a gnawing drive to leave this world better than I found it.

So far, I’ve done the exact opposite.

I wasted money on play toys, parties, people, and material things that didn’t last. Through it I learned that none of it made me even 1% happier and actually made me miserable.

At my peak, I had 4 offices around the world including a full machine stop where I could literally manufacture anything your mind could dream of. Millions of dollars of expensive, precision equipment. Computers and humanity spread all over the place. The overhead was over six figures a month, just to stay alive. And it was miserable.

I had several Lamborghinis and a nice houses and the EXTERNAL things. But I had zero going on internally.

And I had convinced myself this was success. All the trappings and none of the power. I had freedom but no power to really use it. So I was really a slave to my own freedom. Talk about a mind fuck!

No wonder I ended up with disastrous health and so many people hating me.

I was living from pure ego with no real power.

When my wife spent a week in the hospital dying from some mystery disease the doctors couldn’t figure out, I hit the end of me. I was about to be truly alone. That finally broke my remaining pieces of ego apart.

I had to embrace change and die so the real me could live and serve.

So I went radical after watching a documentary about minimalism on YouTube. My wife found this book called “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.” and we applied it. Hard fucking core.

We spent many months donating, selling, and trashing everything we had acquired over a lifetime of hoarding. All the crap in the garage, hidden in the backs of drawers and closets everywhere. All the papers stacked in weird places. All the extra shit we all hoard in various ways. We attacked it all.

My wife and I both got rid of literally everything. And started over. Now everything we own fits in a 4×6 foot closet. Everything, for two people.

It’s been the hardest and most freeing exercise of my life.

For my entire life I’ve had this never-ending urge, like a vacuum that can’t be filled. It was a sucking vacuum right in the middle of my chest. The NEED to consume. I was truly a vampire on life.

I NEEDED to consume anything and everything. You name it, I had to have it.

I was materialism personified.

And then I wasn’t. It was an immediate change. The Japanese art of decluttering cured me.

It was a shocking moment to realize it.

My ego was dead. I was in control of it now. I had met and became friends with my shadow.

I stepped through.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured in
My shadow.
My shadow.

Now I no longer NEED material things to be satisfied.

Most of us are here on Earth to learn to be satisfied. Everything in society tries to keep us from that. The only TRUE satisfaction comes from being who we REALLY are and using that to serve.

Ok yeah, I hear you. “It’s easy for you to say, you have the resources.”

That’s a cop out and an excuse to play smaller than you are capable of. It’s an excuse we all use to avoid the real responsibility of service.

Yeah so what, I made some money. Big fucking deal. Any raging asshole can make money. In fact, with the way the world is set up, you pretty much HAVE TO BE AN ASSHOLE to make a LOT of money.

Our world’s evil-as-fuck, debt-based financial system is slowly cutting it’s own throat. A system like that eats itself. That means the more evil you are, the better you do, until you don’t. The system eats us all.

100%.

But there is a new wave of abundance coming like the world has never seen. Things are changing rapidly as the old, rickety systems are failing. Abundant thinking entrepreneurs everywhere are waking up to different ways of thriving. People first, profit second mentality will soon be the norm.

I have a very unique perspective on the world and I see HUGE opportunities coming. But it means the death of almost all things you are used to. The world is coming to a point to be tested, big time. It will be rough for a bit, but we will push through and enter a new world none of us have experienced yet.

The writing is on the wall and the clues are literally everywhere you look. You just don’t have perspective to see it yet.

After all I’ve learned and experienced, it’s time I gave back in a real way. I have to share what I’ve learned so hopefully others won’t repeat the stupid mistakes I’ve made.

Real wealth awaits.

And will keep waiting until you TRULY show up and take your freedom AND responsibility seriously.

I can help you.

 

—>Back to the story…

Setting:
Summer 1978
510 North McGregor Street, Carthage, Missouri
Backyard of my childhood home

 

It was the first time I had seen red pubic hair.

“Go ahead. Touch it.”

He took my 8-year-old-hand and put it around his 30-year-old, erect penis.

“You should kiss it. It’s fun. I’ll kiss yours too. Then later I’ll take you to Walmart and get you whatever toy you want.”

Images of a new G.I. Joe action figure went through my young mind, the one with the Kung-Fu grip. Just like this one.

Just like the one Eddie Murphy made more famous here.

I grew up extremely poor. In the images above you can see the neighborhood where I grew up. Poor is putting it nicely. We lived right next to 3 giant turkey processing plants (aka slaughterhouses). It was not a good environment. The smell alone was awful.

The constant train traffic in and out of there was even worse. One of our “hobbies” as kids was to put whatever we could find on the train tracks and wait to see what happened when the train came through.

Me and my brother around 1975

Me and my brother around 1975

It started with pennies and quickly graduated to bike parts and even to full bicycles. We only stopped when our cousins derailed a train and the FBI showed up.

The tiny house I grew up in has been leveled and no longer exists. I was bummed when I opened Google Maps to add to this story, only to find out the house I wanted to buy and then bulldoze, was already razed. Someone beat me to it.

Ah well. It was a real shit hole and deserved to go.

My childhood bedroom closet had such bad leaks in the roof, we weren’t allowed to go in it. It was dark and always wet. I never actually saw inside it even though I spent most of my childhood in that house. We just keep the door closed.

The floor in the bedroom was completely rotten and had a toddler-sized holes in the floor that eventually grew into Matt-sized holes. My brother and I would often sneak out of the house at night through those holes.

We could literally see the basement and dirt underneath the holes in the floor. Our basement was completely flooded the entire 11 years we lived there. We froze our fucking asses off in the winter in that bedroom. My dad would put plastic on the windows but left giant holes in the floor.

The one bathroom in the house had no door and the floor was also half missing, for years. My entire pre-teen childhood was lived this way. We were broke as a joke, living on welfare.

All while my Dad:
– Owned his own small, short-haul trucking company
– Owned the house you see to the right and rented it to tenants
– Owned a local drive-in theater AND another walk-in theater
– Had several college degrees including one in computer science
– Owned several nice cars
– Openly bragged about never carrying anything other than $100 bills in his wallet

Kind of a mind fuck for an impressionable kid that inherited some brains from his parents.

And my Dad didn’t like kids, at all. He always said, “Kids should be seen and not heard.”

So he took his life’s frustrations out on us. Being beaten with a belt was a weekly occurrence at least. I remember at least two times that I couldn’t go to school because I couldn’t sit down. Too many bruises. He only doubled up his fist once to hit me. That sucked and he cried. He said it hurt him more than me. I was about 5 or 6. It’s fuzzy.

After that he changed over to “switches.” In the American midwest a switch is a stick exclusively used to beat your kid’s ass. He would mentally torture my brother and me by making us go get our own punishment-switch from the trees in our yard. If the switch we brought back wasn’t big enough he’d get it himself and beat us twice as hard.

That routine went on for years.

My mother would do nothing or she was beaten too. Often she got beat anyway, just for being there. Violence was a way of life and we got used to it. I don’t remember what we did to get in trouble so much. But we were very young so it couldn’t have been much.

(Except that one time we found my Dad’s hidden fireworks stash and almost burned down our garage and then successfully blamed it on our cousins.)

 

We were in and out of foster homes a couple times because neighbors called the child protective services several times. One time our parents went away for what seemed like days and left us home alone. I was no more than 7 or 8 and my brother is two years younger than me. We had only minimal food and were explicitly instructed to not turn on any lights at night and don’t go outside.

The cops were called because the neighbors knew the drill and had been spying on our house for years. The cops pounded the door until we got scared enough to open it. We were taken away and put in a foster home.

Here’s the kicker. I didn’t want to leave the foster home.

It was such a nicer place. Our foster parents were the nicest people I had ever experienced. They had nice warm beds and great food and several other foster kids who were a lot of fun. I thought we had been saved from our crap situation. I remember my brother in tears begging our foster mom to stay there.

But ultimately, we had to return to the home we hated.

I don’t want you to get this wrong. My dad was awful, no question. But he did mature eventually and in the end, he was doing the best he could with what he had. He grew up under a strict authoritarian dad and was just “passing on” what he learned.

He heavily apologized to my brother and I one afternoon about 10 years before he died. It was the first and last time I ever say my dad cry. He meant it, and we both forgave him completely.

From that day forward I really looked up to my dad and learned a lot from him. At his funeral in 2006 I stood up to say a few words. Through heavy sobs I blubbered, “Dad never judged me and always accepted me unconditionally.”

And I meant it. It was the only words I could choke out before sobbing overcame me for the rest of that awful day. My father grew into an incredible man. He was universally loved and made people happy wherever he went. But when we were young, he hated us and lived only for himself.

Our relationship was great as adults. But as a child, my dad was the enemy. I hated him thoroughly and it shaped my entire life.

Mom, my brother Jason, Dad and me. 1976.

We didn’t get to have new toys often. Mostly we played with rocks, and sticks, and dirt. We pretended to have toys we didn’t have. We would build forts for G.I. Joe dolls that didn’t exist. We used our imaginations and had fun anyway. Sometimes the neighbor kid down the street would bring his fancy, new toys over to our yard.

I was so jealous of his new action figure with a beard (brown dry erase marker) that could be “shaved” with a fake razor. It was like this.

1980’s Ken

So when a very friendly stranger offered a chance to go to Walmart to get any toy I wanted, I just couldn’t resist.

This “friendly” stranger was called ‘Red’ because he was redheaded. He was a visiting relative of the neighbor kid with the cool toys.

I had never seen red pubic hair before. It didn’t make sense to my young brain. I knew I definitely did NOT like any part of the situation.

But Red was fun. He played with me. He paid attention to me. He treated me differently than my brother. He made me feel special.

He told me I was a very special kid. For weeks he was just a “cool uncle.”

Then one day he kissed me.

At 8, and taking into account I didn’t feel loved at home, it felt good.

(*It makes me sick to my stomach to write about this.*)

As the days and weeks of that summer rolled on, Red kissed me more and more, constantly amping up the frequency and intensity. I was very confused but it felt like the foster home did, kinda. It felt good and “naughty” and like a secret that was all mine.

Red could no longer keep it to just kissing.

I was crying and shaking and wanted to leave but I was in a trance. I wanted to run home, just 50 yards away. We were in the back alley behind our house in Red’s car.

He kept looking around making sure no one was coming.

He told me about how fun it would be.

It wasn’t fun and I’ve never touched another man’s penis since. The thought alone makes me quake from disgust. I’m not against gay lifestyle at all. If that’s what you are into and you are consenting adults, who gives a shit. Be you.

But I was 8. And I’m not gay. It messed me up. A lot.

It made me turn the whole world and everyone in it into my enemy.

No one protected me from that day. My dad’s ferocious temper didn’t help me. No white knight came riding in. No savior came to save me.

I was truly alone, with evil. Evil that I thought loved me.

Evil that made me feel special, for a season.

I can’t remember full details of what happened. I blanked out the rest. I’m PRETTY sure he didn’t penetrate me and he didn’t hurt me physically. But other than that, I can remember his penis perfectly. Red pubic hair and uncircumcised penis is pretty easy to remember.

He never took me to Walmart. And he never bought me any toys.

But he did talk me into running away with him.

WTF?!

Yep, at age 8, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night to go “live with Red.” And I even talked my brother into coming along. But not to live with Red, just to run away. We had planned for my brother to go to a truck stop in Joplin, Missouri, and get a job.

He was 6 years old.

 

My brother Jason and me. 1978.

 

I was going to leave my 6 year old brother at a truck stop and go “live with Red” and then never look back. Our plan was to “meet again” in a few years.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

That’s the kind of person I am. How did I come up with that at 8 years old? That’s how much we both hated our father back then.

We planned for a couple weeks. We rolled up some clothes in our favorite blankets and took off in the middle of the night through our holey bedroom floor. We got only a few miles down the road before we got scared and turned around.

We snuck back into our bedroom and swore to forget the whole thing.

It was about 5 am when the cops pounded on the front door of our house.

Our nosey neighbors once again saw us somehow and called the police on us. Our tiny hearts were pounding. My dad drug us out of bed and we stood on our front porch sobbing while explaining what we had done.

I saw something change in my dad’s eyes in that moment. It seemed like disappointment. I hated how we had made him feel then.

An 8 year old and a 6 year old, in their underwear, sobbing at 5 am on the front porch in front of cops, while explaining how we were running away.

I can’t even imagine what my parent’s thought.

What had I become, at only 8?

I would go on to disappoint them many times in life.

Through it all I’ve learned my own authority. I’m an avid student of myself and learned to shape myself into whatever I needed to in order to get what I wanted.

Hiding my shame became my main skill. Hiding was, and still is, the one thing I’m the best at. I’m probably high in the world ranking for “Best Hiding From Shit Guy.”

That hiding made me invent new versions of me to make the world warp to what I wanted. We all do it in many ways. Everyone acts different around different groups of people. I’ve just taken it to a new level of art.

I’m a chameleon. I can dig deep with ANYONE and they will think I am like them completely. It’s a very advanced version of the “matching and mirroring” concept that’s taught in NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming).

What’s the secret?

Know more than they do.

Your ignorance is my opportunity.

The one with more data wins.

People are so busy, stressed and living in chaos they can’t see what they can’t see. So it’s very easy to know more about a subject than the average person.

I’ve always made it a point to be the smartest guy in the room, any room. If I wasn’t, I studied the subject in extreme depth then do my chameleon routine. Soon, I’m the go-to expert. I win.

I viewed anything and everyone as my enemy so I was always MANY steps ahead. I split test everything to death in my head. I can run thought experiments in millions of iterations and test multivariate outcomes, all in my head. I do it all day every day in every situation.

“How do I win in this situation?” This is kinda what automatically goes through my head.

In any and every situation.

“You are my enemy. How do I best completely destroy you right now?”

Mostly I was talking to myself and used other people to hurt myself even more than I hurt them. It’s an awful way to live.

Have I changed? Fuck no.

I’m still me. It’s a lifetime of programming to unwind.

But I’ve tried believe me.

I’ve done every kind of psychedelic drug in search of me.
I’ve taken every personal development training you can imagine.
I’ve had many therapists.
I’ve had shamans, and gurus, and religious leaders at my beck and call.
I’ve spent millions on trying to find out what the fuck is wrong with me.
I’ve attempted suicide dozens of times. (once put me in the hospital for a week)
I’ve committed every crime you can imagine other than rape and murder. (I’ve attempted murder on myself so many times I’m convinced I’m a murderer anyway.)
I’ve faced down my demons and we fucking fought.

I finally won. But not by fighting. By owning the evil inside me.

I see myself as a fraud. A liar. A cheat. A stone cold psychopath who will eat your fucking children if you push me too far.

Here’s the main lesson I want to get across to you here:
“Anyone will do ANYTHING, if given the right circumstances.”

I’ve been in and put myself in the “right” circumstances over and over again, trying to PUSH myself to finally be able to let loose and free to do ANY-FUCKING-THING. I just had to feed my internal beast.

Want I thought I wanted was freedom.

I even taught people to attain freedom at all costs.

But as we’ve learned, I really just wanted POWER.

Power takes merging freedom with RESPONSIBILITY.

The one thing I hide from the best.

So to be truly free, to do ANYTHING, I tried EVERYTHING. Only to learn that I didn’t need to do any of it.

1. Live below your means.
2. Learn how to be lucky.
3. Never take on debt.
4. Know yourself.

This is the true Road to Freedom.

I’ve found it.

I’ve traveled it.

I fucked it up and then perfected it.

I’ve escaped the Matrix.

Now I’m here to help those that want to do the same.

So I’m starting a NEW LIVE SHOW. (I started this project as a newsletter but the logistics of mailing worldwide really wasn’t worth it in the end. So I’m privotig to a live WEEKLY show. It’s a weekly digest of my life lessons, stories, and latest resources.

Plus you’ll get to see the inside of some wild shit. Things no one else is willing to show you. I’m the magician who’s pulling back the curtain so teach you all the tricks.

In this show, I’m holding nothing back.

In it you’ll learn:
– How to spot fraud and make a fortune from it. (I’ve been telling my mastermind groups for YEARS to be ready to short Tesla and anything Elon Musk is involved in. I’ve been mocked and laughed at because of it. Now the hammer is finally dropping and our short positions are making huge returns. This is the next Enron. You watch. It’s almost a once in a lifetime gift to make such huge ROI in a short time. The fallout will be huge and all my subscribers have seen this coming for a long time and are well-positioned.)

– How to trade crypto the RIGHT way. I told everyone to sell at the top in December 2017. Some listened. Since then I’ve shown how to make insane ROI by trading the ups and downs with leveraged futures contracts. The money is right there to pick up. Not one in a thousand is doing it right way.

– How to find your voice and authority. I’ve taught various pieces of this for years and have hundreds of testimonials like these. My best student, James, just closed a $2 million contract and got another $100,000 wire for consulting. All he did was follow what I taught and found his authority. My newsletter will pull back the curtain on the tricks I’ve learned to get “lucky” over and over again and always be in the right place.

– How to be the smartest person in the room. There’s a lot to this but it’s all about one thing, how to learn fast. I’ve perfected several tricks to shortcut learning about any subject fast. YouTube is one of the best resources in the world for learning new skills and gaining deep knowledge. The trick is in quickly curating the right sources.

– How to curate. This is a big subject that will quite literally change your life. This one skill alone will set you free forever. I’ll teach you how I grew 11,000 personal followers on Facebook and over 18,000 on Twitter, all organically. Zero ads. And they are engaged. Anyone can go buy followers. Mine are real and engaged. I pull more sales and money out of those followers than “big” accounts with 10x the followers. It’s all about curating outside the box stuff that your audience will find interesting. It’s very easy and takes just 5 minutes a day when you have the right tricks. Here’s my biggest insider secret: Use Twitter and YouTube in combination. And keep it VERY simple. Second secret: Get good with memes.

– How to meme! I have an incredible amount of resources for memes. Memes are THE MOST POWERFUL traffic tactic you can use. They tap into culture in ways even the most in depth content can’t reach. And fast. It’s the number TWO skill you MUST learn in today’s social media driven world. I’m really fucking good at it. I’ll teach you all my tricks and give you a DAILY digital feed of my best memes you can use for your own stuff. I have way more than I can ever use anyway. This alone is worth the price of the newsletter.

– How to always be ahead of trends. And how to be a trend SETTER. When you are curating the right way and paying attention to a couple simple things, you will always see where trends are headed WAY before anyone else. I’ve made a career out of this. I’ll show you how too.

– Why physical gold (and NOT cryptocurrency) is the future of all tech and financial systems. I’ll detail in the first edition, why gold is going to 10x in price over the next few years. Gold is the cheapest the world has ever seen right now, yet central bankers all over the world are acquiring trillions of dollars worth at light speed. I’ll show you what you aren’t seeing. This one thing alone will open your eyes to how manipulated gold prices have been for 50 years. FYI, the gold in Fort Knox is gold-clad tungsten. AKA, fraud. Learn the full story and prosper in the coming financial reset.

– What crazy shit I’m up to. I try everything in business, to an extreme level. In the last year I’ve been focused on ICO’s for crypto and blockchain businesses. All have been huge successes. They were never public because of legal restraints. Through the many blockchain projects I’ve been inside of, I’ve seen it all. I’ll teach you all I’ve learned and how to do the opposite of the crowd and make yourself wealthy. I’ll show you why you DO NOT want to do an ICO, ever. Way too risky. But I’ll show you how to get the full benefit of an ICO without any of the risk. And you get to keep things private!

– How to start your own newsletter. I’ll teach you all I learn and how I’m doing it. Starting your own physical newsletter is the new blogging. Pay attention to the trends.

– Weekly email of trading/market recommendations. I’ve been trading at an institutional level for over 20 years. I know markets and trading better than even the best out there. I’ve built and sold dozens of automated trading systems. I’ll teach you what I see, weekly. This will be charting and trade ideas. Not financial advice, just ideas of what I see. Like this one. (Bitcoin is STILL going to almost zero if not all the way to zero. Only THEN will it be built on top of hard assets and then explode. Until then, it’s all crap and solves nothing. I’ll explain in detail in my newsletter.)

– How to meditate for power AND peace. I’ve studied every form of meditation there is. Only one has worked. I’ve received hundreds of raving comments about my meditation course. I’ve refined it and you get access to it.

– How to be spiritual and tuned into God, but take no shit and kick ass.

– How I lost 105 pounds and kept it off for 3 years while eating pizza and drinking root beer every day. It’s not a diet or workout either. Just tracking in a notebook gives you everything you need.

– And a lot more crazy shit you’ve never seen or heard anywhere else. And will only be available via the physical newsletter. No digital copies will ever be kept online.

If you made it this far, then you are the who I’m looking to connect with. My content is going DEEP and I need people who want to put in the work to finally be great, the REAL you.

If that’s you, then get signed up here. It’s only $99 per month. The first show alone worth an entire year. It starts Wednesday, October 10th, 2018.

Why am I selling this? Easy.

No one respects free.

I want you to watch the show. And apply it. Only if you pay for it will you value it.

So here we are. I’m me and I know who I am.

Currently, I know more than you.

Your ignorance is my opportunity.

Once it was my opportunity to destroy my enemy.

Now it’s my opportunity to help, if you want to listen to an evil psychopath.

If not, then you can leave now.

Either way, take this from me.

Know yourself and get raw with it. It’s the only road to freedom.

Own your scars.

Own the worst part about you.

Own your power.

You are worth it.

Just like in this scene, yeah knowing the Matrix sucks. But only if you don’t own your place in it. And your DARK place in it.

Steak can still taste great while knowing it’s all a game.

Play it.

It’s yours to play how you want.

Sign up here to get an edge on everyone.

See you on the inside,

Matt “Evil Mother Fucker” Trainer

P.S. For you scrollers, I got nothing for you. Read the damn letter. I spent a lot of time on it and wrenched my guts inside out.

Read it. Or just sign up for my newsletter here.

I hate you and I love you.

Let’s take a deep dive. Fuck the easy, shiny fake shit.

Thanks for your time.

SUICIDE 2.0: Put a gun to your head and forgive yourself

“I’ll give it to you straight without any fluff. You have the largest, nastiest tumor I’ve seen in my 3 decades as a doctor. You need emergency surgery ASAP. At best, you will have to have a colostomy bag for the rest of your life. At worst, you are going to die.”

When the doctor finished those sentences I was silent. I didn’t even believe what he was saying. It was like watching a movie of someone else’s life.

“This isn’t happening to me. I’m just having a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon feeling refreshed.” The thoughts rang through my head as I walked to the parking lot.

Immediately followed by,

“How the F@#$% am I going to break this to my wife?”

I opened the car door of my brand new Lamborghini. I took a look inside, sat down, and cried.

Sobbing in a $300,000 car immediately after being told the worst news you can hear is a mind-blowing experience. I felt like a complete fraud sitting in that car. Even though it was the fourth Lamborghini I’d owned in the previous 20 years, it still felt like a bad joke.

Material things don’t lose just 100% of their value when you face your own mortality. They lose a lot more than that. They become an anchor as well.

On the way home, contemplating my own death, and how my wife was going to take it, was the longest 20 minutes of my life. When I got home I couldn’t look her in the eye. I couldn’t even talk. I sobbed uncontrollably.

I felt like I had wasted my life on bullshit.

Just a couple days later I was on my back in the operating room. The anesthesiologist was injecting the first wave of their medical voodoo into my body.

As I was fading consciousness, I stared at the brightest white I’ve ever seen emanating from the operating room lights. It’s a very unique white, the kind of white that only comes from operating room lights. It was a sickening experience that burned into my brain.

I’ll never forget those lights. They were like bright, white slices of death and despair. Those lights were my alarm clock. It was time to wake up and truly live.

During my last moments of consciousness, I repeated to myself over and over, “My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad. My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad. My life was not a waste. This operating room is my launching pad.”

I swore I’d never allow myself to lose control over my health again.

Before the tumor I was living the life of a “One Dimensional Douchebag,” as Garrett J. White so eloquently puts it. I figured out long ago how to make as much money as I wanted in days or weeks. Making money is easy when you have a solid system and mindset.

I had that figured out and then some. At the time I had just launched my new automated SEO tool called “The Automati.” That launch did seven figures in sales in the first 3 hours. We did just over $3 million in sales in the first 24 hours. It was a six-figures-a-month business right out of the gate, from ONE EMAIL.

I know how to make money. I’ve generated over nine figures in sales in my life and went from prison in 2001 to an eight-figure empire in less than 5 years. I’ve created over a dozen seven-figure businesses in 4 different industries. The system is always the same. Making money is easy when you have a solid system and mindset. Sounds great right?

It is great, unless it’s your ONE dimension. I was great at making money but shit at everything else. I had a great marriage, several successful businesses, a brand new beach house in San Diego, and my own race car & motorcycle fabrication shop.

Yet I was almost 100 pounds overweight. I hit the bars or bottles of wine almost daily and spent at least 2-3 days a week recovering from hangovers. I was a full-blown, “functional” alcoholic. To make it worse, my nasty drug habit was keeping me sedated and hidden from the world. I was miserable and masked it with alcohol, drugs, and material wealth.

Simply put, I “had it all” but hated myself.

Fast forward two years and I’ve lost over 90 pounds and I’m healthier and more fit than I was in high school. I’ve kept the weight off for over a year and my marriage is more solid than ever. (note: I just turned 47)

I meditate/pray at least twice a day, every single day and I’m in tune with my spiritual side like never before. I’m alchohol-free for over 6 months now and I have ZERO desire to take a drink.

I learned to take the same system I use to make money and point it inward. Through using the same tools I’ve used for decades to make money, I learned to love myself.

The headline of this post is of course a metaphor. Please do not go put a real gun to your real head. Do it metaphorically, not literally.

Now that I have your attention, I’m talking about guns to heads.

Or…

What the @#&^%$ are you going to next?

What are you going to do next to get out of your own way?

What are you going to do next to take your business to the next level?

What are you going to do next when shit hits the fan and you have no reserves and no backup plan?

What are you going to do next to finally become a real millionaire?

What are you going to do next when those millions evaporate right in front of your eyes while your friends, family, and sanity disappear along with it?

What are you going to do next when you have no f-ing clue what to do next and everyone is looking to you for answers?

What are you going to do next when your health fails you?

I know how you will answer all those questions. I know because I was you.

When the gun is to your head you will freeze just like you always do. You know you will. Oh you’ll play it off as “bad luck”. You’ll come up with some other bullshit story you always invent to dodge the truth.

The story morphs depending on the situation but you are a pro at it. You’ve gotten to be the best in the world at playing smaller than you are capable of…

and justifying it

to your spouse

to your kids

to your peers

and most effectively

to yourself

Your story becomes your Kryptonite. You know deep inside that you are Superman. But when the time comes to put on the damn cape, you stop.

What are you going to do next?

How is this time any different than your previous bullshit?

Even if you do push through, why are you so unhealthy? Are you great at business but treat your body like hell?

Are you amazingly fit yet broke as a joke?

Are you physically fit and great at business yet your marriage or home life is a disaster?

Here’s what I know about you right now.

EITHER:
You really don’t know what to do next.

OR:
You know what to do next but you freeze and/or self-sabotage when it’s emotionally big.

Whether it’s Fitness, or Finance, or Family or anything else, the ANSWER is always the same…

YOU.

You are all you need. You have every resource available. Somewhere inside you know it to be true. You have a SUPER HERO inside trying to go do Super Hero shit. Deep inside you know you were meant to be great.

So even though the solution is inside you…

The problem…

IS ALSO YOU.

You love to sit around and dream about really putting on the cape and flying like a real super hero. You see other people doing super hero shit and you know you could do better. You fantasize about all the awesome Super Hero shit you will do once you FINALLY put on the cape and fly.

But when it comes time to walk out the door with the cape on…

…you freeze, delay, evade, hide, sedate, and fend off success like a super hero ninja on crack. You keep Superman pushed down. And it’s deep.

“No way in hell am I going to take a chance to be great. What if I fail? What will everyone think?”

Believe me, I know. It’s way easier to stay hidden behind all kinds of walls of sedation. I’ve tested them all to their limits and beyond.

I even gained over a hundred pounds as a “shield” against the world. I had to hide my inner Superman behind an extra hundred pound suit of armor. Oh the masks we wear to hide who we are from the world.

Whatever your sedation (hiding) technique, I know you have it down pat. You know the triggers and you know how you will self-sabotage. You know how to play it off to the world too. You got this “staying the same” thing down pat. You might even be in the running for World Champion at it.

And you hate yourself for it.

The push-pull messaging society constantly throws at us doesn’t help either. To top it off, our education system has dumbed us down so much we’ve forgotten how to solve problems. We’ve been trained to follow rules and we became robots for the military/industrial complex.

We live in the Matrix. We have become nothing but batteries for the machine. You know there’s something wrong with the system. You know you were meant for more. You are the solution. You just get in your own way.

It’s time to put the gun down and forgive yourself.

You are worthy.

You are great.

You have a unique value to deliver to the world.

And you know it.

So fucking act like it.

You have a super power. You have something that lights you on fire. You have something you love to do. You have something you lose yourself in. You have something that could set you free if you let it.

And it’s something that will create life-changing income if you just knew what to do next…

Over the last 30 years I’ve created seven-figure businesses in 4 different industries. I’ve mastered how to create and scale businesses on the Internet extremely fast. I always know what to do next.

The system is always the same. I’m going to reveal it to you.

Whether you are looking to:

  • Create a new business…
  • Scale an existing business to bigger numbers…
  • Lose excess body fat…
  • Build more muscle
  • Maintain full, dynamic health…
  • Build solid relationships with family, your significant other, or yourself…
  • Tap into your spiritual side…
  • Dramatically reduce stress and overwhelm…
  • Connect with a community of like-minded people…
  • Grab life by the balls and REALLY LIVE…

…the system is always the same. I’ve perfected it over the last 30 years of trial and error, and I mean LOTS of error. I can save you YEARS of heartache and pain if you will heed my words.

The system is always the same. And it’s super simple.

To create any sort of success, you simply have to learn to manage just three things:

1. Your thoughts
2. Your emotions
3. Your circle of influence

Once you have a solid system to manage those 3 things, your life will change dramatically. Your Superman will come out of creative freeze and show himself to the world. You will always know what to do next, no matter what life situation you find yourself in.

You become solution-minded by default. You’ll learn to create what looks like magic to the rest of the world. You’ll get more accomplished in 90 days than most people do in a year.

When I got out of prison in 2004 I had no money, I owed $2 million in restitution, I had only one friend, a crappy $10/hr job, no car, and nowhere to live. No one wanted anything to do with me.

Less than 5 years later I had built an 8-figure, almost-fully-automated empire, all on the Internet. I had zero staff and just 2 virtual assistants in the Philipines that worked for $20 a day. The business pretty much ran itself.

The business part is the easy part. Managing YOU is the hard part. The secret is simple…

You have to forgive yourself, like there’s a gun to your head.

After spending 10 years and over a quarter million dollars on:
– Therapists
– Meditation retreats
– Week-long “warrior bootcamps”
– Spirit quests involving psychedelic drugs
– Seminars
– Coaching programs
– Mastermind groups
– Live events
– And HUNDREDS of self-help books

…I’ve created a system that works, repeatedly, at will.

I learned how to “kill myself” to get the life I wanted. I learned to kill the old me and the old negative patterns that kept me playing as a One Dimensional Douchebag.

Now it’s a complete system. I’ve ran over 100 people through this system so far and it works.

Here are just some of the amazing results:

– Henry M., an Internet newbie, created a new business and generated $8000 his first weekend. He generated over $30,000 his first month. He’s now about to close a seven figure licensing deal for his ideas.

– $1.8 million dollar day! Art R., changed his existing business systems based on what he learned from me and had the largest sales day he’d ever seen, by far.

– James and his wife Sonia created a solid authority online with over 400,000 engaged followers in just a couple months. They just announced they got $2 million in funding to expand that business!

There are now over 70 amazing testimonials from average people achieving very non-average results after learning my system. People are losing weight, fixing their marriages, expanding their businesses, having way more fun, and getting healthy in all ways.

On Tuesday, September 12, 2017 I’m holding a live webinar to teach you the basics of the system.

Go here to register >>>

Live attendees will get my personal mind maps to:
– Internet marketing success (SEO, paid traffic, blogging, social media, etc)
– Weight loss (How I lost 80 pounds in 100 days while cheating on my diet every day and doing ZERO workouts.)
– Mindset mastery (How to create what looks like magic to the rest of the world)

You’ll learn how to get whatever you want in life even if you are fresh out of prison and have no resources or help.

You’ll learn how to always know what to do next.

You’ll learn how to do SUICIDE 2.0.

Put a gun to your head, forgive yourself, then play your own game.

Go here to register for this groundbreaking webinar >>>

See you there,
Matt Trainer

P.S. Suicide 2.0 is the name of my new book. In it I’m telling my full story. It’s a wild one for sure! I’ll talk more about it on the webinar.

Click here to register for the training

Sometimes you just gotta listen…

Yesterday was a wild day. Almost everything technical I touched just wouldn’t work…

…like at all.

I had an amazing training tee’d up to present.

Hundreds of people were patiently waiting.

I just couldn’t get the Internet to work the way I wanted it to.

Then GoToWebinar audio crapped out. Then Keynote wouldn’t work right.

So I winged it.

I built a few slides while people were waiting and ran with it.

I looked at the clock.

I was already 15 minutes late and people were getting restless.

And then I realized I had no idea what to say.

Gulp…

—-QUICK COMMERCIAL BREAK—-

Last year I created a product called The Automati.

It was a private group of people who wanted to learn the high end Internet marketing stuff.

What they got was a lot more than that. It was highly successful with tons of amazing testimonials.

Over 20 SEO agencies have been built from the automated SEO tool the Automati was built on.

One client created a $20k/mo business within just two weeks of signing up.

And he’s still rocking it a year later and does NONE OF THE WORK.

Many, many clients have created life-changing income from the tool.

One even told me the tool is paying for his new vacation house in Costa Rica!

I could go on and on.

But alas my good ole “buddies” at PayPal helped me out by banning our account out of the blue for no reason.

Our account was over a decade of solid history with almost zero refunds and minisucle chargebacks.

And that’s with over $10 million in sales I ran through there in that decade and THOUSANDS of customers.

PayPal just decided out of the blue that they didn’t like our business.

OK, fine. So we move on and never deal with them again.

Accept, all of our happy Automati customers were tied to the PayPal Recurring Payments system.

So that means they killed all the recurring revenue from those customers.

I was thinking for a long time about just closing it down and moving on.

BUT THAT THING WORKS! AND WORKS GREAT!

And hundreds of people have had amazing results with the tool.

So I’m gonna open it back up again.

What we have is an automated SEO tool that does all off-site SEO for you!

– No link building
– No article writing
– No risky tactics that could get your site blacklisted
– It’s self-learning and self-optmizing through advanced data analysis of Google changes
– Over 16 years and many millions invested in the technology
– Start your own SEO agency and outsource the WHOLE THING!
– Rank your own sites in Google search results for your keywords

The tool is simply amazing and just plain works. Is it perfect? Hell no.

Does it rank every page for every keyword? Umm no and no tool ever will.

Does it work every time? Hardly.

But when it does, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. You can literally build an automated kingdom on it.

I know what it’s worth. It’s created millions in revenue for me and others.

And it’s very expensive technology to keep alive.

So to sell it cheap is just dumb.

But you are very important to me and I truly want to see you succeed.

So I’m gonna open up the tool for a huge 80% discount just for you and people that are on this private list.

The unlimited Master level of the tool sold all last year for $499 per month.

Until Wednesday, October 19, 2016 at midnight I’m offering the 80% discount to you.

And ONLY to people on this private list.

After that it gets released to the public for $499 per month for unlimited URLs.

So take advantage of this offer now to get on Automati 2.0 – Inner Circle Access

Go here now to get it before I open to the public  >>>

—END COMMERCIAL BREAK—

As I opened my mouth to speak I couldn’t even talk. My brain blank. Sweat forming on my forehead.

I had thought about so much what I wanted to say…

And I was frozen.

I realized I had been trying to force something.

The universe was trying to send me a message.

It just wasn’t meant to be that day. So I just spoke from the heart.

I gave a solid presentation and promised to release the recorded replay the next day.

I thanked everyone and closed the webinar.

Then immediately realized that BOTH recording systems I was using (Camtasia and GTW) had failed during the webinar.

So it wasn’t even recorded. Argghh.

And then my wife screamed from the other room.

She had lost ALL of her credit cards AND driver’s license somewhere between Whole Foods and our house.

Good times. Could this day get ANY better?

Yes it did. But it threw off all my “plans” and kind put me in a small funk.

Turns out it was exactly perfect timing and everything worked out how it was supposed to.

You know, like how it always works.  🙂

The down time gave me some time to meditate and consider my next move.

So I’m gonna pause for the weekend to make sure my Atlas Alliance workshop attendees get my full attention.

Then Monday I’m gonna take another whack at it.

So look for a link from me on Monday for the “90 Days To Residual Income” full training.

Until then make sure you get in on the big 80% discount I’m offering for Automati 2.0 – Inner Circle Access

 

WARNING: Ad blockers are killing online advertising

Ad blockers are killing the advertising business!

Find out how we solved it permanently in the replay below.

We’re launching our own ad network to compete with the big boys head on.

Why?

Because people will make WAY more with US than with old school Adsense!

Plus we get to control our own fate instead of mean ole Daddy Google dictating all the rules.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

– Why even the big guys (yes even Facebook and Google) are losing up to 50% of their ad revenue to ad blockers and how we solved it

– How the new “click bait” rules are hurting the click arbitrage business…

– Why Google Adsense is dead and how we make way more money now using a secret tool that only WE own…

– Plus get a sneak peek at our brand new ad network and find out how you can be involved

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